Shukria, left, and Khadjia walk on The Green at the University of Delaware on March 25, 2024. The two fled Afghanistan after the Taliban took control of the country after the United States armed forces withdrew in the summer of 2021. Damian Giletto/Delaware News Journal
Krys’tal Griffin | Delaware News Journal
Key Points
Editor’s note: The Afghan women in this story are identified by their first names only to protect their identity and that of their family and friends in Afghanistan. Both women agreed to be photographed and videotaped for this story as long as no identifying features were visible. This is the first of a two-part series. The second story can be read here.
Crouched on a crowded bus, Taliban patrolling on the other side, Shukria made a final, brief call to her family in Pakistan. She told them she was fleeing Afghanistan to pursue her education abroad now that the United States military was withdrawing.
This image shows a U.S. Marine grabbing an infant over of a fence of barbed wire during an evacuation at Hamid Karzai International Airport in Kabul on Aug. 19, 2021. Courtesy of Omar Haidiri/AFP Via Getty Images
She spoke in whispers and shielded the light from her phone so the now-empowered Taliban did not see it and prevent her bus from breaching the gates to Hamid Karzai International Airport. Thirteen U.S. service members and around 170 Afghans were killed in a suicide bombing there the day before.
Shukria told her mother this was the only path for her and asked for prayers. She took only the clothes on her back, her phone and a few important documents.
She arrived at the Kabul airport perimeter 15 hours later with two other companions. They sat alone on the ground with the Taliban, wondering if their lack of passports would be the reason they were left behind, while the rest of the fleeing women were joined by American soldiers inside the building.
Armed Taliban members smacked guns against the wall, telling them to act appropriately to prevent men from looking at them. Crowds continued amassing beyond the airport gates, desperately seeking a chance to escape, too.
As time crawled, Shukria’s doubts crept in: Should she hold out and risk leaving Afghanistan? Or should she give up and catch a taxi home, back to everything she has ever known, at the expense of her future?
After three hours of clutching one another’s hands, hoping to make it out, Shukria and her companions took in the last glimpse of Afghanistan. They were allowed to board a plane on Aug. 28, 2021, in a tangle of fear and anticipation.
Afghan people sit as they wait to leave the Kabul Airport in Kabul on Aug. 16, 2021. Wakil Kohsar, AFP Via Getty Images
This year marks the third anniversary of the tenuous evacuation in which thousands of desperate souls clamored to get out. Now a junior at the University of Delaware, Shukria reflects on her journey to the U.S., her life since arriving in Newark, and how fortunate she was to make it into an innovative partnership at UD created to assist her and other Afghan women.
“I was not able to stay in Afghanistan, and neither in Pakistan, because the situation for girls in either place was not OK and I wanted to pursue my education. And that was the only way for me,” she said.
Before life as she knew it ceased to be, Shukria planned to get a scholarship to attend college outside of Pakistan or Afghanistan. She’d graduated from high school in 2019 and moved to Kabul alone to study for the national Kankur exam during a mandatory one-year period. She later enrolled at Kabul University, proving to herself and her family she could make it on her own, a test-run for college abroad.
“This is what all girls do in Afghanistan when they graduate high school – just stay home and wait for some proposal or something. I just wanted to study. I didn’t want to end up like other girls,” Shukria said.
She was accepted as a computer science major at Asian University for Women in Bangladesh, slated to start in the fall of 2021.
Khadija, another Afghan woman who fled home and wound up at UD, had similar aspirations.
A high school graduate in 2017, Khadija always knew college was in the cards, but she took a four-year hiatus from pursuing higher education to get a job teaching English as a second language to help her family financially.
In preparation for college, she joined a local educational society and began learning English in 2014. Unlike her classmates, Khadija had no desire to attend Kabul University. Instead, her plan involved completing an undergraduate degree outside of Afghanistan before eventually making it to the U.S. for graduate school to receive master’s and doctorate degrees, hopefully through Fulbright or educational grants in Germany and England.
After getting a passport to secure her spot in a university in another country, Khadija was accepted into Asian University for Women in 2021. With only five majors to choose from, she eagerly awaited diving into her bioinformatics classes that fall.
But neither woman got the chance to set foot on campus in Bangladesh.
“So, the plan was to leave Afghanistan in September, but then the Taliban came, like, overnight, very suddenly. And after that, the plan was to get out of Afghanistan,” Khadija said. “I could not imagine if I’m gonna be in Afghanistan because I wouldn’t have the normal life that I had before the Taliban came.”
Muqtedar Khan, a professor of political science and international relations at UD, said that while the U.S. has been able to bring over some Afghans who aided the U.S. government during its stint in Afghanistan, “others are still there and in really bad shape.” He adds that the Taliban sees these people as enemies for helping the U.S., subsequently hurting U.S. foreign policy and relationships.
Afghanistan is dealing with a humanitarian crisis of hunger along with human rights issues, especially when it comes to women’s freedoms.
Under Taliban rule, higher education has been abolished for women after sixth grade. That means there is nowhere for women to go education- or job-wise afterward and little opportunity aside from marrying and starting a family. Women must also wear a burqa, a garment that covers the entire body from head to toe, with a mesh veil that exposes the eyes and allows the wearer to see only in front of them.
For education-seeking women like Shukria and Khadija, the rapid regression to gendered societal standards left little room for upward mobility.
“The Taliban have a weird and extremely narrow interpretation of Islam. Completely, shall we say, influenced by the local tribal cultures of Afghanistan, in that they provide very little rights to women,” Khan said. “And nobody, no country, has officially recognized Taliban as a government of Afghanistan, so signing treaties, deals, trade, et cetera, have become very difficult.”
The international community has offered to acknowledge the Taliban as a government if three conditions are met:
“Some historians call it the ‘Graveyard of Empires,’” Khan said. “If the Soviet Union and the United States had not intervened, then it would have been a developing country. Maybe not as well off as Bangladesh, but kind of like Bhutan and Nepal.”
The cabin of the aircraft was dark, swollen with the weight of 700 people breathing the same air, escaping to an unknown land for a better life.
After several days of travel and no clue where she was headed, Khadija finally touched down on U.S. soil in Wisconsin. The next several months involved being shuffled to various military bases until final plans for the refugees solidified.
Khadija had heard about the freedom granted to U.S. citizens. The rights of the people to think what they wanted, of women to go where they pleased, alone or with friends.
“I read and I heard that people are free, but when I came here – when I saw it with my own eyes – I really liked it,” she said. “Everyone respects each other’s opinion or the choice they make. It wouldn’t happen a lot in Afghanistan, especially for women.”
Khadija, an Afghan student at the University of Delaware, fled the Taliban in 2021 to pursue higher education. She enjoys photography and often takes photos around UD’s campus and Newark. Provided By Khadija
In Newark, English Language Institute professor Scott Stevens reached out to UD’s Provost’s Office to see if it could assist students in Afghanistan impacted by the Taliban takeover. Phone lines began ringing, old connections were tapped, and eventually UD found itself a part of a web of American universities in communication with Asian University for Women to help. The 148 students studying in Afghanistan due to the pandemic, instead of on campus in Bangladesh, fled to America.
Within months, and amid yet another COVID-19 surge, UD and several other schools worked together to place within their campuses the 59 refugees most needing intensive English language preparation. UD welcomed 15 women, the largest chunk of the group, focusing on early career students.
“It was really a very informal beginning and just an impulse of looking at this terrible situation and wanting to help,” said Matt Kinservik, vice provost for faculty affairs at UD and one of the administrators overseeing programming for the Afghan women.
The 15 students who wound up at UD first enrolled in the Pathways program, an English Language Institute endeavor at the university that is open to all international students. It helps them gain their English language competency and cultural understanding before moving into student status and beginning regular coursework. The Afghan women then became Women’s Initiative in Service and Education scholars, a program created specifically for these students that focuses on the unique circumstances that brought them to UD.
“This group of course is different because they went through a very traumatic, collective experience, and they’re unlike other international students. They didn’t apply to UD. They just ended up here,” Kinservik said. “When they left Afghanistan, I think any one of them would tell you that they didn’t imagine they were coming to the United States. … They probably hoped and expected to be much closer to home than they are.”
And then there is the WISE scholars program, which offers academic support and personal support, both through university guidance and a partnership between the ELI and Jewish Family Services of Delaware, the state’s refugee relocation agency.
The initial period of the women’s intake in the ELI was managed through internal university funding, providing them full housing and tuition. After a few months, UD raised money through its fundraising operation to support the women, having raised nearly $210,582 as of July 2024 from 285 donors who heard the cohort’s story and wanted to help. Along with traditional financial aid, these crucial donations help the women pay rent, buy groceries, get new clothes and cover added living expenses most others would be able to rely on family for if needed.
After about a year and a half of the Pathways program and completing their first few course credits, the women began matriculating to UD coursework across three semesters.
Some were ready to start on their degrees in the fall of 2022 while others needed more time. One of the 15 was unable to continue her studies due to the trauma of leaving home, but as of fall semester 2023, the remaining 14 finished their ELI program and were all enrolled full time at UD, ranging from freshmen to graduate students across various disciplines.
After the homestay period, the women moved into local apartment complexes, sharing apartments in small groups and working part-time jobs on or off campus like any other Blue Hens, said Amanda Bullough, a business administration professor. Bullough immediately volunteered to mentor four of the women due to her background in women and gender and experience with Afghan women at her previous university.
Like Kinservik, Bullough and the other mentors have been intricately involved in the day-to-day life of the women. This involves helping them with both the mundane and the unique, like adding a degree minor or, upon request, teaching the women how to swim in the school’s natatorium.
“There’s a learning curve for any new college student when they go away to college,” Bullough said. “And these incredible ladies have had the entire learning curve of leaving their families behind and never knowing when they would be able to see them again and starting off in a whole new country with no support.”
Khadija (left) and Shukria (right) work in one of the computer labs at the University of Delaware on March 25, 2024. Damian Giletto/Delaware News Journal
The United Nations High Commission of Refugees defines a refugee as a person “forced to flee their own country and seek safety in another country.” The capacity in which JFS Delaware can help refugees in terms of funding and programs depends on if they meet specific requirements and what their situation is, such as being a special immigrant visa holder or being advance-granted asylum.
USA for UNHCR reports as of May 2024 that over 120 million people were forcibly displaced worldwide due to persecution, conflict, violence or human rights violations – the highest levels of displacement on record – as either refugees, asylum seekers, internally displaced people or those in need of international protection. Just five countries – Afghanistan, Syria, Venezuela, Ukraine and Sudan – make up 73% of all refugees and people in need of international protection.
As one of Delaware’s four resettlement agencies that works with refugees and asylum seekers, JFS is one of the biggest and longest-serving and is no stranger to helping individuals like the Afghan women at UD, said Sophi Namugenyi, chief program officer at JFS.
In recent years, JFS Delaware:
The Bureau of Population, Refugees and Migration reports that, as of July 31, 2024, 11,168 Afghans have been admitted to the U.S.
JFS is the first line of defense when it comes to resettlement. However, the agency’s partnerships with local banks, healthcare systems, landlords, community-based medical facilities and more speak to the nature of how all-encompassing this assistance is and how much work goes on behind the scenes. Delaware’s refugee-friendly legislation also paves the way for successful resettlement across the First State.
“The tone is set by local government,” Namugenyi said. “It’s so easy to then get other local partners or other businesses, other landlords, who are so committed to the cause.”
In the past five years, Delaware has received the following funding for refugee cash and medical assistance and refugee social services:
The Afghan women at UD came to the U.S. as humanitarian parolees due to the international emergency unfolding in Afghanistan. They aren’t the first group of individuals to seek asylum in the country in this way, but the response of American universities taking them under their wings was a unique solution. It afforded the women many advantages other refugees do not have, said Jenevive Newman, director of the Refugee Integration Support Effort at JFS.
The enrollment level of refugees for higher education in college or university is only 6%, an increase from the 1% documented in recent years, according to USA for UNHCR.
In contrast to the WISE scholars’ streamlined enrollment at UD, most refugees are offered a more basic version of English language instruction and typically must immediately find jobs to begin budgeting to cover their costs once program assistance comes to an end. This results in many refugees being unable to seek higher education until they can afford it, or they’re able to track down previous school transcripts, which can take years.
“These are things that case managers will have to walk them through. Getting admission into higher education is not a walk in the park; it’s a long process for most of our refugees,” Newman said. “So, the UD situation is a very unique situation, and UD was able to work with them and get everything and then we provided the case management support.”
Khadija sports a pink “Delaware” sweatshirt on March 25, 2024. She fled Afghanistan after the Taliban took control of the country in 2021. Damian Giletto/Delaware News Journal
Wearing a hot pink pullover adorned with “Delaware” in cursive, Khadija walked on the Green with a backpack slung over her shoulder, the sun shining on her face.
It’s hard to imagine where she was three years ago, filled with fear of the unknown and adjusting to a new normal. But waiting on the other side was an opportunity she is still relishes.
The rising junior knows that wherever she turns, she’ll be met with the friendly faces of classmates, professors enthused to shape her college experience and an infectious air of ambition.
Shukria, left, and Khadija hold hands on The Green at the University of Delaware on March 25, 2024. Damian Giletto/Delaware News Journal
It reminds her of a story she researched during her time at a military base about a French student who studied at UD, returned home and became mayor. From there, he initiated an exchange program where French students could learn at his alma mater just as he did, and American students could experience France.
“If a miracle happens, if we get rid of Taliban in Afghanistan, I wanna make – even if it’s small – I wanna make that kind of difference if there can be students from Afghanistan, especially women, to come here and I would help them as an alumni at that time,” Khadija said.
“It seems very impossible, but even if it’s impossible, like a dream, I love that.”
For Kinservik and Bullough, the perseverance of the WISE scholars is awe-inspiring. They hope what the program has been able to achieve thus far, the example the Afghan women have set in their ongoing trajectory of achievement, is only the beginning of the university’s role in global issues. They believe it’s a feat that “UD can be proud of for a really long time.”
As Shukria walked aside Khadija, a stranger just three short years ago, she knew that right there on campus is exactly where she’s supposed to be.
“I was just biking and I was just so happy because this is the place that I knew that I could be someone,” she said. “Although it was new for us, it was a new challenge in my life. I liked the challenges.”
In this place, she could pursue her education. In this place, she believed she could do something for her family, maybe for her country.
It’s the reason she got on the plane.
Part 2: ‘It was hard but we did it’: Afghan students who fled Taliban hope to inspire other women
Jenevive Newman, Director of the JFS RISE (Refugee Integration Support Effort), has been named to the Delaware Business Time’s 40 Under 40 List.
DBT’s 40 Under 40 pays tribute to outstanding young professionals who are making a name for themselves through innovative ideas, business excellence, and community involvement. Each year this program recognizes 40 leaders under 40 years old who are bringing Delaware’s business community to new heights.
Check out the DBT’s profile of Jenevive below:
Originally from Ghana in West Africa, Jenevive Newman now passionately supervises a team of 12 employees as the director of RISE, or Refugee Integration and Support Efforts, at the Jewish Family Services of Delaware. She serves vulnerable populations and, in many cases, ensures their safe arrival and transitions.
Together, she says her department serves more than 350 refugee clients every year with over 100 volunteers statewide and a budget of more than $1 million. Last year, Newman’s team served 644 clients from over 18 counties. RISE is currently the largest refugee resettlement program in the First State, helping refugees new to Delaware secure housing, medical services, employment, school enrollment, mental health support and other opportunities. The calls for help, she adds, can come at all hours of the day and night, calls that her team gladly handles to help another in need.
Along with her passionate leadership through RISE, Newman volunteers at her local church in various capacities, including its children’s ministry by teaching Sunday school classes. She also works with her church in her home Ghanaian community, providing a mentorship program for teenagers focusing on teenage girls. The program has successfully helped fund various vocational skills and trades for the young women they serve.
For fun, Newman loves to travel and is currently on her 13th country with hopes of increasing that number in the future as she experiences new adventures. Newman earned a bachelor’s degree in social work from the University of Ghana in 2012, a master of arts in development studies from Erasmus University Rotterdam in 2017 and a master’s degree in social work from Delaware State University in 2021.
Rebecca McAdams, Clinical Supervisor of the JFS Mental Health Fellowship Program, has been named to the Delaware Business Time’s 40 Under 40 List.
DBT’s 40 Under 40 pays tribute to outstanding young professionals who are making a name for themselves through innovative ideas, business excellence, and community involvement. Each year this program recognizes 40 leaders under 40 years old who are bringing Delaware’s business community to new heights.
Check out the DBT’s profile of Becca below:
When Rebecca McAdams isn’t chasing her toddler around with her husband, she is dedicated to improving what she considers to be an intergenerational legacy of community service as her great-grandmother was an entrepreneur who also served her local community.
As the clinical supervisor of fellowship and licensed mental health therapist with Jewish Family Services of Delaware, McAdams regularly mentors rising clinicians and helps increase community access to mental health services through services like the organization’s mobile therapy program. She successfully led state contracts, two state grants and cultivated a culture of learning with her staff, exposing them to more than 10 different clinical training sessions.
To further meet the demands of the Delaware community, which continues to face a lack of health care providers of all varieties, McAdams has also grown her own private practice to include queer affirming treatment and worked with other clinicians to develop a social and networking group in hopes of enhancing mental health resources and support for clinicians across the First State.
McAdams earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology with a focus on children, family and youth from Bloomsburg University in 2015 and a master’s of education degree in counselor education from Pennsylvania State University in 2017. She has trained in several specialties including trauma, play therapy and attached-based family therapy.
McAdams was a member of the Spring 2024 cohort of Leadership Delaware. Her favorite place in the world is Lums Pond State Park where she spent many summers swimming and frog hunting as a camper. McAdams also has a favorite holiday – Halloween – which is the source of an incredible photograph of her dressed up as Scott Calvin when he was half transformed into Santa Claus.
Jewish Family Services of Delaware (JFS Delaware) has been named to The News Journal’s 2024 list of Top Work Places in the state of Delaware.
This is Delaware Online/The News Journal’s 18th year recognizing local companies in the Top Workplaces program.
Companies are separated by size: large companies with 400 or more employees, midsize companies with 100 to 399 employees and small companies with fewer than 100 employees. The process is based on a scientific survey of employees who rate their workplace culture.
Click here to learn more about the award and view the full list of winners.
By Kat Santoro, MS, NCC
Summer tends to be an exciting season for children as there is a certain thrill that comes with the ability to spend time away from school. For some students, summer break is a chance for them to rest and feel more rejuvenated for the start of the upcoming school year. However, for other students, this time of year can feel dreadful as it increases their anxiety for returning to school. There are many different reasons why a child may feel anxious about returning to school. This can interfere with their ability to attend class.
Anxiety can present as a multitude of symptoms that may not always look the same for each child. Some children express more overt signs of anxiety that can be identified by parents or teachers, but other children may have more covert symptoms that are not as easily detected.
For some children, the idea of going back to school can create so much anxiety within them that their body has no place to store it and it manifests as physical symptoms. Some of the common physical symptoms of anxiety can include stomachaches, sweating, increased heart rate, shortness of breath, tensing of the muscles, changes in eating or sleeping habits, headaches, nightmares, shaking, and even fainting.
The psychological symptoms of anxiety can include difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, anticipating the worst of a situation, irrational fears, constant worrying, and uncontrollable obsessive thoughts. Anxiety can manifest in behavioral symptoms as well. Some children may exhibit signs of social isolation, increased irritability, being so restless that they cannot sit still, and an exaggerated startle response. Since anxiety is not a one size fits all, children can have any combination of these symptoms.
The good news is that there are a multitude of evidence-based treatments available for anxiety. If parents suspect that their child may be exhibiting signs of anxiety, they have options for getting help. Parents can opt to enroll their child in individual therapy where they will get one-on-one care from a provider. There are also groups that allow children with anxiety to come together to learn coping skills in an environment with peers that may be facing a similar situation.
There are also coping skills that parents can teach at home to help their children reduce some of their anxiety. Talking about the anxiety with a trusted person in a safe space can also be beneficial. It is important that children feel they can open up about their anxiety and receive validation so that they feel less alone. Allowing the time and space for children to be vulnerable about the things that are bothering them is a great way for families to connect about the anxiety.
Additionally, research indicates that taking deep, controlled breaths can help to relax the mind and body. Other tactics that can be beneficial for reducing anxiety include exercise, meditation, journaling, and utilizing grounding skills. 5-4-3-2-1 is just one of many grounding skills that families can do together, which can help an anxious child utilize all five of the body’s senses to calm racing thoughts and pull them out of the anxiety through engaging in their surroundings. This grounding skills helps children identify 5 things they can see, 4 things they can touch, 3 things they can hear, 2 things they can smell, and 1 thing they can taste. Families can practice utilizing these coping skills at home so that children are able to easily recall them during anxious moments at school.
Coming back to school from summer break may trigger anxiety in some children and make it difficult for them to feel comfortable engaging in their education. Anxiety can be incredibly overwhelming for not only the child experiencing it, but also for their families. It can be particularly intimidating for those that are unfamiliar with anxiety and how it can manifest. Some families may not even be aware that it is anxiety that has been the culprit behind the various symptoms their child is displaying. Our hope is that as anxiety becomes more frequently discussed it will become easier to identify so that it can be treated.
Jewish Family Services of Delaware (JFS) offers a youth anxiety program specifically dedicated to youth struggling with anxiety. The goal of the youth anxiety program is to help participants identify their triggers and learn coping skills so that they can overcome their anxiety. JFS youth anxiety group programs will resume at about a dozen schools and community centers throughout the state at the start of the new school year. Programs are offered at all grade levels.
JFS also offers individualized therapy for your child. There is a fee for individual therapy, but financial assistance is often available for the uninsured or underinsured.
JFS Delaware’s Promoting Safe and Stable Families (PSSF) program works with at-risk or in crisis families to identify support systems and develop action plans to help them reach their goals with confidence. PSSF can held reduce family stress and crisis, increase networks of support, connect families to services and resources, improve child and adult relationships, and much more. Below is a story about how one family benefitted from using PSSF services.
Amber is a PSSF client in a multi-generational household, a grandfather, daughter, and grandchild who all live with a family friend. For years there has been a lack of medical care, employment, and financial security, compounded by the fact that members of the household have prior or current criminal history. These barriers, along with the condition of the house which makes it difficult to find and maintain proper paperwork, led to Amber spending most of her time trying to keep everything a float to avoid eviction, repossessed cars, or jail time.
On top of all this, the family friend was placed on hospice recently, but important documents and POA were still in his wife’s name, who passed away several years ago. Amber realized the need for a notary to begin transferring certain things over to her so that the friend could continue to live in his home and obtain proper medical care, as well as formulate a plan for the other household members when the friend passed on. There is also a nine year old child living in the home, who has experienced a great deal of trauma, as well as moving from place to place. The mother is working hard to stabilize the household so that the child has a safe and peaceful home to live in.
The JFS Family Consultant contacted a mobile notary signing agent who agreed to assist the family. Although the costs for a mobile notary are not high, the PSSF family is without a steady income and could not afford the notary services. Since this was a very important step in achieving their goals, JFS covered the cost of the notary through the PSSF crisis fund.
So the notary and Family Consultant visited the family at their residence. If the case was straight forward, the notary would have witnessed the signing of the paperwork and gone on her way. However, this was not straightforward and there were years and even decades of paperwork to sort through, some of it incomplete. On several occasions Amber had been given wrong advice, which led to documents that could not be verified or notarized.
The mobile notary spent two unhurried hours with Amber, her father, and the family friend. She carefully looked over each document and explained the processes to the family, while patiently answering their questions. She was extremely kind and compassionate to their unique situation and the crises they are encountering. The main concern was that the elderly friend would be able to pass away in his own home, and the notary was able to show him paperwork that gave him legal protection to remain in his home.
The elderly family friend was so grateful to finally get some answers to the state of his property and assets that he had not been able to obtain since his wife passed away. Amber thanked JFS staff members with tears in her eyes, and was also so grateful to finally get some clarity on a very overwhelming situation. It was the first time in possibly years that she was able to get assistance from an agency and not just be brushed off.
This highlights the importance of JFS to be involved in community outreach. The mobile notary that the Family Consultant used was someone that they had met at a community event in summer of 2022. She ended up being the perfect fit for the family, someone who was able to advocate and advise on a very difficult situation with a great deal of empathy toward our clients, as well as provide mobile services as the elderly client who was not able to leave the home.
Although much work remains to be done to notarize and finalize the paperwork for this family, they have taken the first important steps in reducing their stressors and assisting their elderly friend. They have already increased their knowledge of resources and network of support. In the coming weeks the client, mobile notary, and Family Consultant will be working together to achieve the proper paperwork and get all documents up to par and notarized so that the family can continue to live in their home and provide end of life care to their friend.
To learn more about PSSF and the services provided, click here. If you would like to donate to support the work that PSSF does, click here.
Joanne’s brother was diagnosed with schizophrenia when he was about 13, she was around 11. He is now 62. His mental issues have been a lifelong struggle for him and their whole family. He has been in and out of many varieties of hospitals and residential situations.
“There have been dozens of care providers and systems that at times did more damage than good,” said Joanne. “JFS has been the first to provide my brother support in a way that looked at a wholistic picture of his life. From JFS, he has received compassionate, personal care as well as pragmatic care- everything from a talk about his day, to rides to numerous doctors’ appointments and even the grocery store.”
Through JFS Delaware’s Gilbert J. Sloan Care Navigation program, older adults, adults with disabilities, and their loved ones can access compassionate, professional, and personalized care management services to enhance quality of life, encourage independence and healthy lifestyles, and ensure a safe and supportive living environment.
Joanne and her family are celebrating that JFS made it possible for her brother to be moved into an adult family home where he can be among a social group, which he longs for, and hopefully create some sense of “home” and safety. In the past he has often expressed his sadness at feeling like a “throw away” as result of his struggles with mental illness.
“Our parents passed away a number of years ago, and I know that my brother’s wellbeing was top on their list of worries as they aged and became less and less able to care for him,” said Joanne. “I know that with the latest good news that JFS has been able to accomplish on his and my whole family’s behalf they would be “over the moon”, as my father used to say. JFS has shown up consistently and with kind regard in helping to improving his life experience and to help him to know that he is cared for.”
Claudia
Claudia is a 66-year-old woman with some learning and cognitive disabilities. She is married, but lives by herself since her husband has greater medical needs and lives in a skilled nursing facility. Her sister reached out to JFS for support for Claudia with advocacy and transportation needs.
She typically has a care manager go with her to medical appointments to take notes and get clear assessments. She needed rides to other appointments for a short term due to a medical condition that has now been resolved. Her main use of Care Navigation is through direct contact with a care manager.
“When I went into the hospital in November, I didn’t have anybody in the state of Delaware at all to help me,” said Claudia. “The caregiver is really helpful, the manager part of it is really helpful. Taking me to doctor’s appointments… just making sure I have help when I need it.”
Ray
Ray is 96 years old. He and his wife Veronica are in the Care Navigation program. Ray primarily uses Care Navigation’s transportation services since he can no longer see very well and cannot drive.
“My wife and I were in a transition, and we had decided to continue to live at home, where we’ve been for 43 years,” said Ray. “But we needed more help to stay home. And I heard about Jewish Family Services. I called and they said, “we can help you”. And this is how it started. It gave us a better feeling of security. That’s important at our age.”
Ray does not love losing his independence but is connecting with JFS volunteers in meaningful ways as he utilizes Care Navigation services.
The JFS Care Navigation program is named after Gilbert J. Sloan. Dr. Sloan was the President of JFS Delaware from 1984 to 1986 and was a strong supporter of JFS for many years. He was also a beneficiary of the Care Navigation program.
With personalized short-term solutions and long-range care plans, JFS Care Managers improve safety measures, foster independence, and promote a higher quality of life for older adults to age with comfort and dignity.
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In 2023, 100% of Care Navigation clients reported reduced isolation and increased feelings of support, access to community resources, and a sense of safety and independence. 90% of caregivers reported high satisfaction with Care Navigation services, and 95% of clients and caregivers would recommend Care Navigation to a friend or family member. Click here for more information.
My mom was diagnosed with dementia in her early 60’s. She got diagnosed several different times in different ways. That was very confusing and very stressful because we didn’t really know what she was facing. And we finally came to JFS and were given a true diagnosis of frontal lobal dementia. She passed away a little over a year ago from cardiovascular issues along with dementia.
We heard about JFS through a support group when we noticed major changes with my mom and needed more advanced healthcare for her dementia. And the support group had rave reviews of JFS. So, we said, “well, let’s check them out.”
Kara’s Parents
It was like someone finally put light into a dark tunnel. Someone finally gave us exactly what we were looking for, which was an outline of what the disease looks like, what we would be facing potentially, and an actual path for us to be able to move forward.
When you walk on this path, uncertainty is at every corner, both for the person going through it and loved ones involved. So being able to go to JFS and them giving us a path and guidance along the way, that was the biggest gamechanger.
Like everything else, when you enter the dementia world, it’s like you’re in a big fog. People with dementia become childlike, but they’re adults. Caring for someone with dementia is a lot like entering parenthood again. So having that guidance and support and being able talk to someone about what you’re doing right and what you could be doing differently is huge. Love is not the question. It is patience, and kindness, and respect, and calmness, and tolerance. It’s all those things. You have to dig very deep.
Love is not the problem. It is finding the support to be able to do this every day, day in and day out.
Ironically, the last six months of my mom’s life were very healing in some ways. Being able to come into JFS and cry, and vent, and being able to hold someone’s hand was the best gift we could have been given for the last several months of her life.
My mom was a teacher extraordinaire. She couldn’t turn it off, she would teach everybody. And she loved bugs. I wasn’t allowed to be afraid of bugs growing up and I teach my children the same.
Butterflies and dragonflies were especially important to her, she would always point them out to me when she saw them. So now I wear a butterfly necklace in her honor. I also have a butterfly garden. And whenever I see a butterfly, I think of my mom. She was a delight.
Unfortunately, so many pieces of her were stolen from her by this disease. But one of the things that remained until the very end was her desire to love and to teach. And the staff at JFS delighted in her when she would come in, which was huge because dementia is not something you understand until you walk through it.
There is no cure for dementia. There is no major medical inference at the very end. There’s not much medically you can do. That’s why the other support is so important. Because you know this is what I can do for the best care for my mom. My mom was a phenomenal mom. She took care of us, and all we wanted to do was take care of her.
Anybody that I come across in this area I one thousand percent recommend your services. I’ve said, and I will continue to say it, you were a lifesaver for our family.
The JFS COMPASS program provides specialized medical care for older adults with dementia and—just as importantly—critical support for their caregivers including education, counseling, and improved access to services. Click here for more information.
In December of 2022 we shared Sasha’s story of her journey from the Ukraine to Delaware. You can read that by clicking here. We recently received an update from Sasha and wanted to share with you what she’s up to now.
Dear friends,
Last year,
I and my daughter had the privilege to visit and speak at your beautiful synagogue. I was blessed to meet you all, beautiful people who have shine only love and warmth. Thank you so much for giving us such a beautiful experience.
Last year, we made the decision to come back to Ukraine because we felt we had to be closer to our families and to support our country in the most dire of times. This decision was not an easy one but it was the right one.
Since we returned back, I was sharing with my Jewish Ukrainian friends about the amazing experience that I had at your synagogue. I must admit that some of them did not believe me when they heard me telling them I was permitted to speak to an entire congregation! They explained that it was huge honor to do that!
From my end, I am very grateful to all of your for sharing your love and compassion and for supporting Ukraine.
I also wanted to thank JFS Delaware for their support and for their desire and dedication to welcome newcomers. I indeed was a stranger, but they made me feel as part of their family, a big Jewish family!
I will never forget the kindness that was shown to me and my daughter. You have inspired me to continue doing good things and, as Vlad explained to me, the principle of Tikkun Olam of repairing the world, which is broken, I realized that I can do more that I ever thought.
I started a new charitable initiative with my dental company. I reached out to our dental suppliers, and they agreed to provide free materials as long as we are treating our soldiers for free. Every day I am seeing young men whose faces were crippled and are being transformed thanks to our joint effort. Often times, these soldiers cry like babies because they never imagined that their faces could be restored.
Kindly note, that I am very serious when I say to people that this work would not have taken place if I had not witnessed the love and care that the Jewish community has shown to my family. You are an example that I want to follow.
Shabbat Shalom from Ukraine!
Through intensive, culturally sensitive case management services, our Refugee Integration Support Effort (RISE) program helps refugees and other immigrants integrate and make a home in their new communities, obtain and retain employment, and establish and maintain healthy lifestyles to achieve self-sufficiency.
All this amazing work happens because of your generous spirit. Please visit jfsdelaware.org/donate to make a gift today.
Written by Kristin Park, Points of Light
Meet Daily Point of Light Award honoree Claire Laveglia. Read her story, and nominate an outstanding volunteer or family as a Daily Point of Light.
When Claire Laveglia was a teenager, she volunteered as a candy striper for a local hospital as a way to earn hours for her Service Club. Two years of helping people navigate the hospital and being a friendly face amidst others’ challenging times cemented a love for community involvement that she’d carry throughout her life.
After retiring from a 20-year career in special education teaching children on the autism spectrum and training parents, staff and other caregivers, Claire set out to dedicate her newfound free time to volunteering. She found a nearby Jewish Community Center (JCC)—and later, Jewish Family Services of Delaware (JFS Delaware)—and has been focused on Older Adult Services for the last five years. As a reliable and friendly visitor, Claire’s visits are bright spots for those she is paired with to socialize, deliver groceries to and drive to appointments each week.
I retired young. I still had plenty of energy and interest in contributing to society. At the time we were living in southern New Jersey, and the JCC there had lots of volunteering opportunities, so I got involved. Subsequently, we moved to Delaware, and because I’d had such a good experience, I connected with JFS here.
I got started with the Memory Cafe, where caregivers and people suffering with memory problems would meet once a week to discuss a topic of the day. And after we started talking, you couldn’t tell the difference between the people with memory problems and the people without. People could recall what they’d done 25 years ago as clearly as if it had happened yesterday even though they couldn’t remember what they’d done five minutes ago.
That was a wonderful experience, but it got shut down during the pandemic. Subsequently, JFS started a program to bring meals to seniors who were shut in. One of the homes that I went to belongs to a woman that I still shop for, despite the program being eliminated when Covid-19 got under control. She was there with her husband, who was quite ill, and couldn’t leave the house for fear of bringing Covid back to him. So, I went grocery shopping for them every week. He has since died, and we have maintained a relationship. Now, I go into her house and visit when I bring her groceries.
Another woman I connected with is a retired family therapist in assisted living. She still has all her wits and still does research, but her body is failing. I visit her once a week and take her out if she needs to go somewhere. We’ve become very good friends. I also drive other clients to appointments, the grocery store and so on.
Additionally, I’m involved with Nemours Children’s Hospital in Wilmington. I volunteer there once a week. Most of the kids are very sick and enjoy being distracted. I’ll read to them or hold the babies. I’ll bring things that they request. They have a very big donation network, so they usually have a big stash of toys and other things.
Nemours also has an estate adjacent to the hospital. I started helping in the gardens two years ago. I really enjoy that, because I’m a gardener.
It’s getting to know amazing people. I know two Holocaust survivors who have written books through my volunteering. I’ve met people who have lived through amazing experiences and are positive and upbeat, and people who are chronically ill who maintain a sense of humor, keep themselves informed, read the newspaper and continue learning.
I grew up with a perspective that you get older, and you’re put out to pasture. But so many people I work with are knowledgeable and have had fabulous careers and are continuing their education, whether or not they’re homebound.
You’re never too old to learn. University of Delaware Osher campus offers classes for people 50+. All the professors are volunteers, so you have a lot of retired people teaching. And the topics are deep–the beginnings of the CIA, Russian history, the nuclear movement. People come using walkers and canes and with assistants who would stay with them during the class every week.
It really opened my eyes. There’s a whole lot more to getting older. The word retirement doesn’t sound right to me. It’s like you’re leaving your life, but you’re just moving to the next phase.
People need to understand that their presence matters. We’re human beings, and we need each other. Loneliness is a major cause of health problems. We need to be able to help our fellow people, not because we’re getting a paycheck at the end but because that’s what we need to do. That’s what gives our lives meaning.
Another issue, particularly in the US, is not being able to rely on your family. My father was French, and we have another home in Europe. People there can rely on their family to take care of them if they’re ill or aging. That doesn’t seem as common in the US, because we’re so spread out. That’s why volunteers are important, because if you don’t have family to help you, you have to depend on somebody else.
People always say they get more out of volunteering than the people who they help. I feel that way, too. It’s not just something for people who are finished with their career or who don’t have one. Everybody should and could volunteer and be a better person for it. You just need to get connected with an organization. You get to meet great people, too, not only the clients that you serve but other volunteers.
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If you are interested in volunteering with JFS Delaware, click here!
