By Rachel Harad, Co-Chair of the JFS Holiday Helpers Program

When the leaves start changing colors, and the weather starts to get colder, my thoughts turn to Jewish Family Services of Delaware’s (JFS)Holiday Helpers program. I start to get excited about helping to create the bags that will be delivered to JFS clients and their families. Many of these clients don’t have the resources that I was lucky enough to have growing up in a comfortable, middle-class family in the suburbs of Philadelphia.

Their counselors recommend them to our program, and we reach out to our community and ask for donations so that we can give them something that will help make their holiday season a little brighter.

Many years ago, I reached out to JFS because someone in my family was struggling and my family needed help. The care we received made me a loyal, lifetime fan of JFS. I asked how I could give back to the agency and I learned a lot about volunteering at JFS. It was at this time I discovered the adopt-a-family program that JFS ran. For a few years, I adopted a family who created a wish list of things they wanted for the holidays. I spent weeks running all over Delaware trying to find the perfect gifts for my adopted family. It was so much fun! It was a wonderful, engaging program, and the adopted families were so grateful and appreciative to receive a windfall of presents for the holidays. The downside was that only a very few families were showered with an abundance of gifts and many families—who were also in need— received nothing.

The program was revamped so that more families could participate. The community was asked to donate toys, books, clothing, and miscellaneous gift items. We set up a holiday shop at JFS and clients would walk through and select gifts for their families. The shop allowed more families to have something for the holidays.

Each year the program grew. We started making ‘no sew’ blankets for the families. We invited the community to come to blanket making events. Families at the ECC, youth groups, young leaders, friends of JFS, and friends of ours came to blanket making parties. We made hundreds of blankets over the years!

Then, COVID shut us down. We could no longer gather but we were unwilling to give up the program; so we pivoted. We decided to make large bags filled with goodies to deliver to the families. We asked the community to donate blankets, hats, gloves, warm socks, toys, puzzles, coloring books, and lots of other stuff . Our community did not disappoint! They sent in enough donations to fill all of our bags. An amazingly generous, anonymous donor contributed money to buy gift cards for all of the families. We call them our angel donor. They have continued to give us a donation every year.

Last year we made 80 bags. This year, we have been asked to make 124.The need in our community is growing. While we cannot fix the problems, we can help the JFS clients who are struggling to have a more cheerful holiday season.

I love Holiday Helpers for many reasons: I get to participate in the hustle and bustle of the Christmas shopping experience; I get to work closely with my co-chairs, Lisa Driban and Eileen Sarter, on a meaningful project that is so much fun; I get to work with some of the counselors and staff at JFS; I get to feel I am part of the organization and stay connected and give back; I get to immerse myself in something outside my everyday life; I get to watch the program grow and expand from year to year; I get to give my friends and community the opportunity to participate in a wonderful program that helps so many families and they get to feel good doing it; I get to witness our community come together to give for the greater good; I get to see my donations go directly to helping neighbors in my community in a very tangible and immediate way; I get to hear how appreciative those families are to receive gifts from complete strangers. How lucky am I?

The lead-up to Holiday Helpers is always filled with a lot of stress. First there is the distribution of the forms to the counselors and the worry that they won’t get filled out efficiently enough. When they start to come in, we worry that there won’t be enough families and then we worry that there will be too many. We spend a lot of time sifting through and processing the information—counting numbers of things, sorting ages of children to decide what types of games and puzzles will be appropriate, checking the sizes of pajamas, putting the information into a format that makes sense and is easy for our donors to access. We write letters and make social media posts, and we nudge our community and pray we will receive enough donations.

When the deadline arrives, we spend a day or two opening the boxes and sorting all of the wonderful donations. We count to make sure that we have everything we are supposed to have and run out to shop for anything we are missing. We then spend three days filling the bags. When the bags are all filled and ready to hand over to the counselors for delivery, we celebrate another successful year and then we collapse, asking ourselves why we do it and then promptly signing up to do it again next year!

Usually within the first few days of delivery we start to get some feedback from the counselors who are lucky enough to deliver the bags to the clients. We hear how one client stood in the doorway and cried because she didn’t think her family would have a Christmas this year because she had no extra money to make one. We hear about a client who said this is the only gift her family will receive this year. We hear about a client who feels forgotten but realizes she is not. We hear about a client who feels loved and special upon receiving a bag. All the stress and worry and tiredness melt away and I remember why we do this and how lucky we are.

To learn more about Holiday Helpers at Jewish Family Services of Delaware, please contact Vlad Cerbov at vcerbov@jfsdelaware.org.

By Stacy Wintjen, JFS Development Manager

Growing up, Chanukah always brought excitement and anticipation. For us kids, it felt like it was all about the presents!

I remember the thrill of that first night of Chanukah at my grandparents’ home, where the reality of gifts often turned out to be new clothes rather than toys. That was not very exciting until I reached Bat-Mitzvah age and wanted all things from THE LIMITED (especially that Forenza cropped stonewashed jean jacket and Under the Sea Black Coral Swatch watch). As I got older, I began to appreciate those moments more—particularly the family gatherings, the big turkey dinner with latkes, and the warmth of seeing everyone around the table.

One vivid memory is of us lighting the electric menorah together and our family saying the prayers by my grandparents’ sliding glass window. My brother and I would play dreidel, gambling with the gelt Pop-Pop gave us, and eating all of our winnings afterward. There’s even a funny family story of Pop-Pop diving into the trash after accidentally throwing out a gift certificate along with the wrapping paper.

Growing up in Dover, Delaware, there weren’t many Jewish kids at school. But every December, my mom encouraged me to teach my classmates about Chanukah. I’d bring in the menorah and explain the story behind the Festival of Lights. My friends were fascinated, always asking, “Do you really get presents for eight days in a row?” It wasn’t easy explaining that Chanukah is actually a minor holiday compared to others in the Jewish calendar. Even so, it took me a while to fully grasp the deeper meaning of the holiday.

A dear friend of mine reminded me that in college I introduced her and our friends to Chanukah by lighting the menorah in my dorm room. Unfortunately, the candles kept falling over, which freaked everyone out!  I had to blow them out to avoid a fire hazard, which felt a little sacrilegious at the time. At least we didn’t burn down the dorm. The next night, we used an electric menorah (courtesy of my grandmother). We had a good laugh as we heard the squeak of each bulb being “lit”.  In those years, Chanukah became more about sharing traditions and creating memories with friends.

Once I had children, Chanukah took on a new meaning.  I loved teaching them about the holiday through fun things like Nickelodeon’s “A Rugrats Chanukah” and Adam Sandler’s “The Chanukah Song” (all four versions), which we had to catch on the radio because we didn’t have his CD, let alone an iPod!  As my children grew older, we had fun watching Adam Sander’s movie “Eight Crazy Nights” together (once they were old enough for its PG-13 humor).

For me, Chanukah is about family, tradition, and creating new memories. I treasure the joy we’ve shared over the years, and hope that my children will continue to pass down these traditions in the future.

Why I Give Back

By Marla Friedman, JFS Delaware volunteer

I grew up in a multi-generational immigrant home. My Bubbe of blessed memory, Rae Karsh, was heartbroken that she wasn’t able to bring her family from the USSR to live with her in Pittsburgh. She sent letters of love and devotion to her mother and half-siblings and any extra cash to help them. When Bubbe’s half-brother, Shmuel, was sent to prison on bogus charges, she sold soup nuts door-to-door (her friend had a factory that made them) to help bribe the authorities to release him.

She felt so lucky to be in America for so many reasons. She left her little village in Ukraine to join her brother in the U.S. (one month before World War 1 began) and avoid marrying an older rabbi! She was able to learn English, choose her own husband, and create a life that brought her joy and 10 grandchildren who adored her. I can’t imagine not giving back to those who are able to immigrate to America as my grandmother did. If not for her courage, I wouldn’t be here.

In the 1990’s I helped acclimate some of our Russian refugees that JFS sponsored here in Delaware. I felt privileged to assist these families and they became a part of our family. Since I was in high school, I have volunteered in rehabilitative settings and school classrooms. I love working with seniors and young children and have taught yoga to these age groups for many decades. JFS gives me the opportunity to share my skills to teach gentle exercise and breathing techniques at the Tuesday Memory Cafe. In this setting, participants improve their physical and emotional health in their daily life.

Volunteering at JFS Delaware has had a positive impact on me and allows me to honor the memory of my Bubbe, a person who benefitted from the support of the Jewish community.

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The work we do with refugees and older adults would not be possible without the support of volunteers and donors like YOU! To volunteer with JFS Delaware, click here. To donate to our Annual Appeal and help us reach our $100,000 goal, click here.

Why I Give Back

By Marti Yates, JFS Delaware volunteer

The plight of refugees became real to me back in 2001. My friend’s brother-in-law perished in the World Trade Center on September 11 of that year. In his memory she created The Welcome to America Project, an effort to aid the refugee resettlement agencies in Phoenix by furnishing the new homes of refugees with household goods collected by the community. I joined her in this effort at a time when the number of people coming to this country from refugee camps seemed massive.

Through WTAP I was fortunate to meet people from all over the world – Afghans, Cubans, Congolese, Burmese, Burundians, Iranians, and Sudanese. My world was enriched and enlightened by hearing their stories about their homelands, my admiration for them increased by knowing how they endured in camps waiting to receive their papers to come to this country, and my affection for them magnified by their profuse gratitude for the meager help we could provide for them. In particular, I was enthralled by the stories the Afghan families told of the tribulations and changes their country underwent from the open freedom and growth of the 70’s to the conflict, deprivations, and trials of the present time. The constant refrain of everyone was gratitude to be able to provide a good education for their children and a life without violence. It was always about providing a better future for their children. Some of those Afghan friends I made 23 years ago remain friends to this day.

When I heard about the need from JFS Delaware for volunteer support with Afghan refugee resettlement in Wilmington, I saw it as another opportunity to help a nationality that I admire. This time, though, it wasn’t just a matter of furnishing their apartment but rather helping them establish their new lives and, to be honest, it has been a challenge. The family I helped was a very young father, a younger wife, and two (soon-to-be three) little children. They needed to learn everything about this country to get ahead: from getting a job, to paying bills, to signing up for phone service and household utilities, to getting drivers’ licenses, enrolling a child in school, applying for asylum, learning to shop in a grocery store, finding medical and dental care- the list goes on and on. In the three years since they arrived, they have shown kindness, initiative, patience, determination, resilience, persistence, warmth, graciousness, gentleness, and hospitality as they work to establish themselves in America.

For my part, I have been privileged to see their development and growth as they work to become Americans while still preserving and sharing the best of their culture. I feel so grateful to be invited to share a meal with them, especially knowing how carefully they must manage their groceries. It’s such a wonderful treat to laugh with them, join in birthday celebrations, witness the children learn,  and go to parent-teacher conferences. It was important to me that they knew, as soon as they arrived, that there was someone who cared about them, that they weren’t anonymous, as they faced the enormous task of assimilation. When their children become adults, I hope they will remember that they weren’t alone when they first arrived on US soil and, hopefully, they will pay the favor forward.

For me, though, I have received so much more than I have given. I already have six children and 12 grandchildren, but now my family has grown to include my Afghan children and grandchildren.

How lucky am I?

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The work we do with refugees would not be possible without the support of volunteers and donors like YOU! To volunteer with JFS Delaware, click here. To donate to our Annual Appeal and help us reach our $100,000 goal, click here.

Jewish Family Services offers maternal mental health care in Delaware

By Janet Teixeira, LCSW

At Cancer Care Connection, we often advise our callers – don’t hesitate to ask for help, don’t try to go it alone when you’re affected by cancer.

This is especially true of internet searches regarding the many forms of cancer. As my team of oncology social workers with Cancer Care Connection would tell you, Internet searches for cancer information can leave you stressed on top of the anxiety that is so common for anyone affected by cancer.

Have you heard people use the phrase “don’t go down that rabbit hole?” That’s our advice to people who mention Internet searches. And if you’re not familiar with that phrase, it refers to digging down deeper and deeper for information online, so much so that you feel like you’ll never come up.

There are lots of reasons to avoid this experience. First, although cancer affects many people, types of cancer are often different for each person. What’s your family history of cancer? Are you affected by other diseases? How early was your cancer detected? Are you experiencing cancer for the first time or are you experiencing a recurrence?

These are distinctions that Internet searches do not make.  Let’s say you have been diagnosed with breast cancer, that it was detected at a very early stage and you have no family history.  So you try an Internet search and get a whole pile of information from fatal to encouraging.

Now let’s say another person is searching for information on breast cancer but she has a family history going back two generations. And unfortunately, her case is considered advanced.

Both people are likely to find the same information, leading that first person to experience anxiety because her low risk factors aren’t taken into consideration.  And this is just one example.

How can you tell if the cancer information you find is legitimate? If there’s a price tag involved? Or if your discovery is a free service? Sites that end in .org normally represent non-profit organizations whose goals are to educate and support people affected by cancer.

By contrast, sites that end in .com, while they can be perfectly legitimate, are usually selling products or services. If you find something that interests you from a .com site, check with your medical team for their thoughts. You’ll want to have this second opinion from someone you know and trust.

So much about cancer can be stressful so we, as oncology social workers, encourage people affected by cancer to reach out for help. Maybe you’re hearing friends and loved ones say “let me know if there’s anything I can do to help…” Take them up on their offer.

When you have a relative or friend sit with you at your computer, s/he can offer perspective. In the example I mentioned earlier that person could point out low risk factors to the first breast cancer patient, potentially serving as a calming force.

We at Cancer Care Connection conduct Internet searches with or for our callers. Our role is to share information, perspectives and stress reducing practices. Visit cancercareconnection.org or call 302.266.8050 for more information.

Janet Teixeira is the Executive Director of Cancer Care Connection, a free telephone service that responds to cancer-related questions and concerns. In addition, Janet is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Cancer Care Connection is an affiliate of Jewish Family Services of Delaware.

Jenevive Newman, Director of the JFS RISE (Refugee Integration Support Effort), has been named to the Delaware Business Time’s 40 Under 40 List.

DBT’s 40 Under 40 pays tribute to outstanding young professionals who are making a name for themselves through innovative ideas, business excellence, and community involvement. Each year this program recognizes 40 leaders under 40 years old who are bringing Delaware’s business community to new heights.

Check out the DBT’s profile of Jenevive below:

Originally from Ghana in West Africa, Jenevive Newman now passionately supervises a team of 12 employees as the director of RISE, or Refugee Integration and Support Efforts, at the Jewish Family Services of Delaware. She serves vulnerable populations and, in many cases, ensures their safe arrival and transitions.

Together, she says her department serves more than 350 refugee clients every year with over 100 volunteers statewide and a budget of more than $1 million. Last year, Newman’s team served 644 clients from over 18 counties. RISE is currently the largest refugee resettlement program in the First State, helping refugees new to Delaware secure housing, medical services, employment, school enrollment, mental health support and other opportunities. The calls for help, she adds, can come at all hours of the day and night, calls that her team gladly handles to help another in need.

Along with her passionate leadership through RISE, Newman volunteers at her local church in various capacities, including its children’s ministry by teaching Sunday school classes. She also works with her church in her home Ghanaian community, providing a mentorship program for teenagers focusing on teenage girls. The program has successfully helped fund various vocational skills and trades for the young women they serve.

For fun, Newman loves to travel and is currently on her 13th country with hopes of increasing that number in the future as she experiences new adventures. Newman earned a bachelor’s degree in social work from the University of Ghana in 2012, a master of arts in development studies from Erasmus University Rotterdam in 2017 and a master’s degree in social work from Delaware State University in 2021.

Rebecca McAdams, Clinical Supervisor of the JFS Mental Health Fellowship Program, has been named to the Delaware Business Time’s 40 Under 40 List.

DBT’s 40 Under 40 pays tribute to outstanding young professionals who are making a name for themselves through innovative ideas, business excellence, and community involvement. Each year this program recognizes 40 leaders under 40 years old who are bringing Delaware’s business community to new heights.

Check out the DBT’s profile of Becca below:

When Rebecca McAdams isn’t chasing her toddler around with her husband, she is dedicated to improving what she considers to be an intergenerational legacy of community service as her great-grandmother was an entrepreneur who also served her local community.

As the clinical supervisor of fellowship and licensed mental health therapist with Jewish Family Services of Delaware, McAdams regularly mentors rising clinicians and helps increase community access to mental health services through services like the organization’s mobile therapy program. She successfully led state contracts, two state grants and cultivated a culture of learning with her staff, exposing them to more than 10 different clinical training sessions.

To further meet the demands of the Delaware community, which continues to face a lack of health care providers of all varieties, McAdams has also grown her own private practice to include queer affirming treatment and worked with other clinicians to develop a social and networking group in hopes of enhancing mental health resources and support for clinicians across the First State.

McAdams earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology with a focus on children, family and youth from Bloomsburg University in 2015 and a master’s of education degree in counselor education from Pennsylvania State University in 2017. She has trained in several specialties including  trauma, play therapy and attached-based family therapy.

McAdams was a member of the Spring 2024 cohort of Leadership Delaware. Her favorite place in the world is Lums Pond State Park where she spent many summers swimming and frog hunting as a camper. McAdams also has a favorite holiday – Halloween – which is the source of an incredible photograph of her dressed up as Scott Calvin when he was half transformed into Santa Claus.

 

Jewish Family Services of Delaware (JFS Delaware) has been named to The News Journal’s 2024 list of Top Work Places in the state of Delaware.

This is Delaware Online/The News Journal’s 18th year recognizing local companies in the Top Workplaces program.

Companies are separated by size: large companies with 400 or more employees, midsize companies with 100 to 399 employees and small companies with fewer than 100 employees. The process is based on a scientific survey of employees who rate their workplace culture.

Click here to learn more about the award and view the full list of winners.

By Kat Santoro, MS, NCC

Summer tends to be an exciting season for children as there is a certain thrill that comes with the ability to spend time away from school. For some students, summer break is a chance for them to rest and feel more rejuvenated for the start of the upcoming school year. However, for other students, this time of year can feel dreadful as it increases their anxiety for returning to school. There are many different reasons why a child may feel anxious about returning to school. This can interfere with their ability to attend class.

Anxiety can present as a multitude of symptoms that may not always look the same for each child. Some children express more overt signs of anxiety that can be identified by parents or teachers, but other children may have more covert symptoms that are not as easily detected.

For some children, the idea of going back to school can create so much anxiety within them that their body has no place to store it and it manifests as physical symptoms. Some of the common physical symptoms of anxiety can include stomachaches, sweating, increased heart rate, shortness of breath, tensing of the muscles, changes in eating or sleeping habits, headaches, nightmares, shaking, and even fainting.

The psychological symptoms of anxiety can include difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, anticipating the worst of a situation, irrational fears, constant worrying, and uncontrollable obsessive thoughts. Anxiety can manifest in behavioral symptoms as well. Some children may exhibit signs of social isolation, increased irritability, being so restless that they cannot sit still, and an exaggerated startle response. Since anxiety is not a one size fits all, children can have any combination of these symptoms.

The good news is that there are a multitude of evidence-based treatments available for anxiety. If parents suspect that their child may be exhibiting signs of anxiety, they have options for getting help. Parents can opt to enroll their child in individual therapy where they will get one-on-one care from a provider. There are also groups that allow children with anxiety to come together to learn coping skills in an environment with peers that may be facing a similar situation.

There are also coping skills that parents can teach at home to help their children reduce some of their anxiety. Talking about the anxiety with a trusted person in a safe space can also be beneficial. It is important that children feel they can open up about their anxiety and receive validation so that they feel less alone. Allowing the time and space for children to be vulnerable about the things that are bothering them is a great way for families to connect about the anxiety.

Additionally, research indicates that taking deep, controlled breaths can help to relax the mind and body. Other tactics that can be beneficial for reducing anxiety include exercise, meditation, journaling, and utilizing grounding skills. 5-4-3-2-1 is just one of many grounding skills that families can do together, which can help an anxious child utilize all five of the body’s senses to calm racing thoughts and pull them out of the anxiety through engaging in their surroundings. This grounding skills helps children identify 5 things they can see, 4 things they can touch, 3 things they can hear, 2 things they can smell, and 1 thing they can taste. Families can practice utilizing these coping skills at home so that children are able to easily recall them during anxious moments at school.

Coming back to school from summer break may trigger anxiety in some children and make it difficult for them to feel comfortable engaging in their education. Anxiety can be incredibly overwhelming for not only the child experiencing it, but also for their families. It can be particularly intimidating for those that are unfamiliar with anxiety and how it can manifest. Some families may not even be aware that it is anxiety that has been the culprit behind the various symptoms their child is displaying. Our hope is that as anxiety becomes more frequently discussed it will become easier to identify so that it can be treated.

Jewish Family Services of Delaware (JFS) offers a youth anxiety program specifically dedicated to youth struggling with anxiety. The goal of the youth anxiety program is to help participants identify their triggers and learn coping skills so that they can overcome their anxiety. JFS youth anxiety group programs will resume at about a dozen schools and community centers throughout the state at the start of the new school year. Programs are offered at all grade levels.

JFS also offers individualized therapy for your child. There is a fee for individual therapy, but financial assistance is often available for the uninsured or underinsured.