Madison Warfel, Author at

Lindsey is a career mom of three with a high stress job in pharmaceuticals. She was a single mom when she began counseling, before she met her husband, and needed help managing the stress of working full-time while raising her kids on her own.

Why did you begin counseling?

“When we talk about micromanaging my life, and having all the stress in the world, I’ve kind of been there, done that. I have always had the worst problems sleeping. And I think a lot of it goes hand in hand with stress and dealing with as much as I deal with on a daily basis. So, with the stress and lack of sleep and my brain just having to be constantly on with the job that I am in, and then having three kids on top of that, it got to the point where I was sleeping maybe 1-2 hours a night. And I was just like, “I cannot sustain this.” So I sought out medication, and my primary care forwarded me on to Danielle at Christiana Care at first and then she shifted over to JFS. And I just adore her. She’s just an amazing person to work with. She listens, she’s engaged. When you talk about trusting someone with your life story and why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling and needing the help that you need, she made me feel like I could trust her and tell her anything and wasn’t judging me; she was there to help me. So she was the reason why I shifted over to JFS because I just love her to death. Then it was just one of your policies that I had to start seeing a counselor when you’re on certain medications and undergoing medication management with JFS, so I started meeting with Jackie. And she too is also amazing. So I’ve had nothing but positive experiences with JFS.”

What improvements have you seen since starting counseling?

“Well, I’m sleeping better. But also, just knowing that I have somebody to talk to that is a non-biased person that is there to listen to me for me, that’s been the biggest change for me. It’s always just a very trusting and open conversation with my counselors. I’ve laughed with them, I’ve cried with them, I’ve never been angry with them, but I’ve been angry in my interactions with them, and they just listen and offer up excellent advice and opinions and thoughts, and it just makes you feel better when you have somebody you can talk to.”

Is it important to find the right therapist?

“Yeah, I feel so strongly about that that I even sent my daughter to JFS. My oldest daughter sees Danielle, also. She has bi-polar disorder, depression, anxiety, and with all of that I felt so comfortable with Danielle that I thought my daughter would love to talk to her too.”

Would you recommend therapy?

“I always tell people, if you are feeling stressed or anxious or depressed, start therapy. I recommend therapy to all my friends and family. If you have the time and the desire to make yourself feel better and improve your mental health, go talk to somebody. Even if it’s a one-and-done, at least you experienced enough to know if it is or isn’t for you.”

Any final thoughts?

“It’s been a very positive experience. Even outside of Danielle and Jackie, the other staff at JFS have been fantastic too. They are very responsive to emails and phone calls. If I’m scheduling something and I need to make a change, everybody is super friendly, they’re on top of it, and I rarely have more than an hour or two between me engaging them and them getting back to me with whatever I need. You all have a super buttoned up facility and I really appreciate that, because not all places are like that.”

This interview was also published in the January 2024 issue of Jewish Living Delaware Magazine. Click here to read it.

Dan is a teacher, runner, and new father. He teaches 8th grade social studies. Dan started counseling with JFS in the summer of 2022.

Why did you begin counseling?

“COVID happened. That through me for a loop. Being an athlete and really invested in my health, I had an increase in thoughts about worse case scenarios. My life got really difficult after we had a baby. I had a lot of paternal postpartum depression, and an aversion and resistance to change in my life.”

What were your paternal postpartum feelings like?

“A lot of insomnia; a lot of disinterest and inability to do things that I love. At its worst, some panic attacks; just feeling out of control and very anxious about the future. And even muscle stiffness and soreness. Just not being able to move on, feeling stuck in the moment. Yeah, just a really hard time with accepting change and my new identity (as a father).”

Have you seen improvements since starting counseling?

“Massively. February of last year was a really low point for me. I was seeing someone from JFS weekly and started seeing improvement in the later part of the spring. I was on paternity leave during a lot of that time, and I was going back to work in May and feeling a lot more functional. Throughout the summer I saw a lot of progress, and now I’m back to school and have been able to get back to some of the activities that I love to do and be more social and be invested in taking care of my son and my family.”

What have you learned from counseling?

“My counselor has done a really good job of talking about thought reframing, especially with my health-anxious intrusive thoughts. Challenging them and going through things logically. And on the depression side, it’s just been talking a lot about change and control. Understanding what my personality type is and how that interacts with the fact that our lives are constantly changing. And this is a big one that I’ve been subconsciously resisting and have felt trapped by. So, processing a lot of those thoughts with her and just being vulnerable and having someone who is not judgmental. Because it’s hard to say, “I don’t like being a dad.” People tend to not like you if you say that in public. So, it’s been really helpful to talk with my counselor about that.”

Did you have any reservations about starting counseling?

“Being an educator, you gotta practice what you preach. We talk a lot about social and emotional awareness with students, and it’s something that I implement as a teacher in the way that I run my classroom. And it’s something that is important in my life too.”

Any final thoughts?

“With JFS in particular, the team aspect of it, with Sheila as my counselor, doing psychiatry with Danielle, and then when I was really experiencing a bit of crisis, I worked with Mike a few times, and everybody is very accessible. Even Amanda, who works in the office for psychiatry. Everybody is very responsive, and you feel treated with a lot of dignity as a person. You’re not put through the whole automated system to wait for someone like other healthcare providers. You always feel like you can get in touch with someone, and it’s very humanizing.”

This interview was also published in the January 2024 issue of Jewish Living Delaware Magazine. Click here to read it.

Written by: Amie Baker, JFS Older Adults Program Manager

Hanukkah has always been a fun holiday for me, like most Jewish kids. After all, it does not require a visit to synagogue, and you get lots of gifts. There is also the added bonus of latkes, donuts, and chocolate gelt!

The memories I have of Hanukkah as a child are of lighting the candles together and singing the prayers. Everyone got a gift each night, and yes, socks were often given. (I mean it is 8 days after all). I remember trying to buy my parents the least expensive, best gift I could think of at the mall. This usually consisted of little glass animals for my mom and a Snoopy tie for my dad.

Amie’s son, Ethan, in 2012.

As a grown-up on my own, I did not really observe the holiday with much energy. Most years I lit a menorah once maybe during Hanukkah, and rarely did I even have a latke. But when I got married the tradition was revived, and when our son was born, we went into overdrive! As members of the JCC, we enjoyed many kid-friendly programs around all the Jewish holidays. Our son, Ethan, has always loved the lighting of the candles. Of course, the gifts are great too. I do think the latkes are his favorite and he has even been known to eat them cold. This year will be his 14th Hanukkah, just six months after his Bar Mitzvah. The time has passed so quickly!

Each year it fills my heart that we continue this tradition in our small family and remember that we are observing this miracle with Jews all around the world. Today, believing in miracles is so important. Let this Hanukkah remind you of miracles, hope, faith and love.

Written by: Liz O’Neill, Executive Committee Member on the JFS Delaware Board of Directors

More years ago than I care to acknowledge, my family traveled to Israel in late December to celebrate my younger sister’s Bat Mitzvah. Having grown up in a suburb of Boston where Jews were a minority, the very first thing I remember being aware of was the sight of a huge menorah as our El Al flight touched down at Ben Gurion Airport. Not a Christmas tree, not wreaths, no red and green lights! For the first time, I considered what it would be like to experience being in the majority, of having Jewish holidays celebrated by the larger community.

As a child, Chanukah played an important role in my life. My parents, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins gathered for festive dinners and enjoyed lighting the menorah and exchanging gifts together. Celebrating Chanukah was a great antidote to the ubiquitous Christmas music on the radio and Christmas decorations that adorned our town. Admittedly, I sometimes longed for a Christmas tree to decorate and stockings to stuff, but I always reminded myself of the Chanukah traditions I loved. I appreciated that every year, one of the gifts my parents gave my sister and me was the opportunity to give tzedakah; she and I chose a charity that touched our hearts. Some years, we donated to an animal shelter, other years it was a non-profit that helped individuals and families experiencing homelessness or health issues.

I recall learning about Chanukah in Sunday School – the Jews’ triumph over their Greek oppressors, the rededication of the Temple in Jerusalem, and the small amount of oil that miraculously lasted eight days. To me, it was, and remains, a powerful story of Jews’ resilience and fortitude. Chanukah serves as a reminder that the ostensibly strong do not always prevail and that “miracles” (or I would say – unexpectedly good things) can happen.

Israel and Chanukah are inextricably linked, not only because the Maccabean Revolt and the miracle of the oil took place there. It is also symbolic. Both Israel, as a country, and Chanukah, as a holiday, represent religious freedom, standing up for what is right, and determination. The modern-day creation of Israel is, in some sense, a miracle, and its continuation is miraculous. Jews constitute just 0.2% of the world’s population, yet we have our own homeland.

As an adult, many of the Chanukah traditions I grew up with remain but have taken on different forms. Because my husband and stepchildren were raised Catholic, our family celebrates both Chanukah and Christmas. I have found myself navigating and appreciating all the various traditions and customs of the holidays. When we decorate the Christmas tree, the very first thing I do is hang a Star of David ornament that my stepdaughter gifted to me years ago. The glow of the menorah (passed down to me from my paternal grandparents – about a century old) often has the glow of our Christmas tree lights in the background. We eat chocolate gelt and also Christmas cookies. And as I light the shamash, there are multiple Santa Claus figurines “listening” to the blessings.

While the menorah lighting observance likely began years after the Hasmonean victory, it doesn’t diminish the meaning of bringing light, both literally and metaphorically, into darkness. I have read the reason Chanukah lights are traditionally placed near a window is so people on the outside can see the brightness and be reminded of how that even during times of darkness, light can be found. As fall turns into winter in the Northern Hemisphere, the illuminations and festivities of the season make the darker afternoons brighter. Sharing our light, as well as our traditions, with others is special, meaningful, and truly enlightening.

I love that Jews around the world celebrate Chanukah at the same time and with similar traditions. We all use the shamash as the “leader” candle to light each candle as we say the blessings. Many of us eat latkes, sing songs, and exchange gifts. However, the dreidels we have here are slightly distinct from the ones that families in Israel spin. The Hebrew letters on my dreidels represent “A great miracle happened there.” And, in Israel, the Hebrew letters represent “A great miracle happened HERE.”

(Released by Leadership Delaware, Inc.)

NEWS RELEASE

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

December 6^th, 2024

Contact: Jaimie Watts, Chief of Operations, jaimiewatts@leadershipdelaware.org

Leadership Delaware, Inc. Announces the Class of 2024

(WILMINGTON, DE) — Leadership Delaware, Inc. (LDI) annually selects Delaware’s best and brightest leaders to join its program, and they are proud to welcome the Class of 2024, LDI’s 16^th class of Fellows.

In this transformational, year-long program, participants meet and hear from over 150 speakers, each prominent and accomplished Delaware leader from across the state, who present on topics and issues related to government, the legislature, healthcare, education, finance, and banking, the nonprofit sector, life sciences, corporate governance, agriculture, energy, and more. The program challenges participants to rise to ever higher levels of impact and accomplishment in each of the following three areas: their career field and profession, the nonprofit sector, and government and politics.

After an intense and competitive application and interview process, the interview committee selected thirty-one outstanding candidates.

Jennifer Cohan, CEO of Leadership Delaware, stated, “LDI is proud to congratulate the incoming class of 31 Fellows that will begin their year-long journey to expand their knowledge and influence of all things Delaware starting in January of 2024.”

LDI’s Class of 2024 is made up of dynamic and talented individuals. They provide an excellent and diverse balance with their backgrounds and experiences.

On Wednesday, December 6^th, the incoming Class was officially welcomed publicly during the 15^th Graduation Ceremony for the Class of 2023.

LDI Class of 2024 Fellows:

Tony Adkins – New Castle County
Tamara Brown – Longwood Foundation
Peter Brown Jr. – DART
Michelle Burrus – New Castle County Police Department
Peggy Carter – Exelon
Benjamin Collins – Bayhealth
Wendell Covell – JFS Delaware
Tracey Duffy – New Castle County Police Department
Lauryn Elder – The Holistic Behaviorist LLC
Jacqueline Flowers – EDiS Company
Christopher Gunter – Capital One
Charles Hammond – Goldey-Beacom College
Shana Hilliard – CSC
Erin Hutt – Erin Hutt Consulting LLC
Alana King – Bayhealth
Kelley Kovatis – ChristianaCare
Katie Kutler – kaffe KARMA
Rachel Lindeman – WSFS Bank
Christine Lowthert – Boys & Girls Clubs of DE
Bryan Mack – Delaware Prosperity Partnership
Conor Nally – Nally Ventures
Ryan Paden – City of Wilmington – Mayor’s Office
Jordan Perry – New Castle County
Tamara Smith – Teach For America
Charles Stanton – Adesis
Darren Stephenson Jr. – Gener8tor
Lauren Stracuzzi – Nemours Children’s Health DE
Kimberly Taylor – Coursera
Minda Thompson – Administrative Office of the Courts
Stacy Tyson – CSC
India Williams – India Sage Media Agency LLC

About Leadership Delaware (LDI): LDI is a nonprofit organization founded in 2008, whose mission is to recruit and mentor the best and brightest outstanding Delawareans, who can and will transform their communities and the state. Our program offers a series of issue-oriented forums and experiences, which are based on the belief that knowledge is a key element and prime motivator of leadership. Leaders with integrity, vision, knowledge, and the ability to make a positive impact within their communities are desperately needed in Delaware and throughout the United States. In fact, the need for principled leaders has rarely been greater. For more information, visit leadershipdelaware.org.

For the Giving Back issue of the Jewish Living Delaware Magazine, several of our volunteers reflected on why they give back and the impact that volunteering has had on them and the lives of those they serve. Len Dwares shares his thoughts below.

When JFS asked for volunteers to teach English to Ukrainian refugees I immediately thought of my grandfather operating a grocery store for about 50 years without speaking English fluently. He and about 95% of his customers spoke Yiddish. In fact, he kept all of his financial records in Yiddish. He didn’t need anything else.

I thought how many people in Wilmington speak and read Ukrainian? The language is different and the alphabet is much different. I thought that even though I have no formal educational training, I could help someone settle into Wilmington. I do have 22 years of experience as a professor at University of Delaware, teaching accounting, but it’s completely different than teach English and being an accountant for many years I didn’t even have to do a lesson plan.

I started by teaching my student the ABC’s. He is a very bright student and picked that up quickly. He reads very well, but in speaking with him he didn’t understand what he was reading so I decided to teach him every day things that would help him adjust. I began by teaching him street signs in English. They are similar to the ones in Ukraine but he has to learn them in English. I don’t know how much it helped, but he recently received his drivers license! And then I taught him every day things such as family names, clothes, schools, money, and other things he would see every day. He now has a job, and I hope I am helping him get through the early stages of his being in this country. I explained to him that English is very difficult and it takes a long time to learn it.

This program by JFS is something that my grandfather never had and maybe never needed. I think it is very important now.

If you would like to volunteer with JFS Delaware and make a difference in the lives of those we serve, click here. You can also donate to JFS Delaware here.

In his book The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, Gary Chapman presents five ways through which we can choose to express love in all kinds of relationships: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, receiving gifts, and acts of service. The secret is to match the language or the way of expressing love to fit the occasion or the mission, or the needs of the loved one.

In my relationships with others who are beyond or outside of my personal sphere, it feels good and right to choose the language of service. Making the conscious choice to love through assisting others who need and want assistance along their life journeys and then engaging in acts of volunteerism ennobles my soul. The choice and the action demonstrate what it means to be created in the image of G-d. As we, the Jewish nation, enslaved in Egypt and living as strangers in a strange land, were redeemed through G-d’s choice, we, too, can make the choice to assist others as they take their journeys to greater freedom and prosperity.

In the Torah we are instructed and commanded multiple times to care for strangers and refugees since we were once strangers, and, certainly more than once, were refugees. The Torah asks me to learn to feel and express empathy through acts of service for those who are estranged and in need. I am asked, I am commanded, to speak this language of love.

I have chosen to support JFS Delaware in its efforts to resettle refugees because I am able to play a small part in JFS’s mission to welcome the stranger and because it is an opportunity for me to expand my capacity to love others unconditionally through the language of service.

If you would like to volunteer with JFS Delaware and make a difference in the lives of those we serve, click here. You can also donate to JFS Delaware here. To view the Give Back article in Jewish Living Delaware, click here.

As I reflect back on this past year of 5783, it stands out to me that one of my most important and personally rewarding endeavors has been the work I have done in tutoring English with a Ukrainian refugee!

It was Basherte that just as I was thinking that I needed to do more to assist Ukrainian refugees, the opportunity to tutor through JFS Delaware presented itself during a meeting of the Jewish Community Group where I live!

As someone who has retired from a long career as a teacher, it was a perfect fit for me to be able to continue teaching, and to branch out into a new area of teaching. I have learned, though, that you need not have experience in the education field to do this work. Jewish Family Services partners with Literacy Delaware, who provides a wonderful training program along with learner assessments and tutoring materials! The hours can be very flexible, and there are options for virtual tutoring.

I look forward each week to working with my learner, who as it turns out, is from an area in Ukraine not all that far from where my father was born. This experience gives me more understanding of the refugee/immigrant hardships and challenges that many of our ancestors and others faced. The learner with whom I work is truly inspiring in her motivation to learn English and help her family adjust to life in the United States, while holding close to thoughts and connections with family members still in Ukraine. I am amazed by her fortitude and pleasantness in the face of all that she and other Ukrainian refugees have been enduring. I am so glad to be able to help her learn English and better understand some aspects of American life.

The support from JFS Delaware has been great, as has been the support from Literacy Delaware. I always feel that there is someone to answer questions and address any issues that arise!

As I look forward to 5784, I wholeheartedly plan to continue with this tutoring work! I would highly recommend that anyone who thinks they might have an interest in tutoring, contact Jewish Family Services of Delaware. I understand that the need for tutors is great!

We heard JFS Delaware Community Relations Manager Vlad speak at the First Unitarian Church of Wilmington and listened with great interest to Vlad’s personal story. His country of origin was the same as that of one of our parents, and their journeys shared many common threads. We were immediately drawn to the idea of volunteer service in support of JFS and most notably their work with refugee populations. Our interest in refugees is attributable to lifelong study of diverse languages and cultures, including years spent traveling and living abroad, to decades of involvement with immigrant populations as career educators and to the challenges experienced by our own families as members of the Jewish diaspora.

Our contributions have been small, but it has been a privilege to be involved. We are grateful to have had the opportunity to volunteer and we are filled with respect and admiration for the caring and loving interactions that we have witnessed at every event. Volunteering at JFS Delaware has had a positive impact on us, giving us more than we have given, including treasured moments of purpose, inspiration, and joy!

When I was 15 and visiting cousins in Israel, my uncle hatched the idea of camping through Europe. My aunt and five cousins loaded up their VW bus onto a ship in Haifa and disembarked in Greece. Weeks later, we were in France.

Gratitude does not come close to describing that experience. Travel is fun when you know you’ll be returning home. It accelerates your learning and gives you a deep appreciation of other cultures. Travel is frightening when you have fled an untenable situation, have no certainty where you’ll wind up, whether you’ll be separated from family, or whether you’ll be safer than where you came from.

So, I give back because I am beyond grateful. Not having to want for food, shelter or love is something all humans deserve but not all have.

I can’t solve forced migration, but I can be a part of the solution. In 2012, HIASPA invited me to be its liaison for congregational support. I educate my congregants on the need for safe refuge, and how to support this effort. HIASPA is an affiliate of Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society (HIAS), which is the oldest refugee resettlement agency in the USA.

In 2016, I joined Jewish Family Services of Delaware’s Refugee Integration Support Effort (RISE). Through a partnership with Literacy Delaware, I taught English to African refugees and helped with resume writing, financial literacy, setting up passwords, and connecting clients to transportation.

In early 2020, I was selected as a Spanish interpreter for the HIAS Border Fellows program. I interpret between asylum seekers and lawyers. A particularly detailed case involving a Honduran family fleeing gang violence reminded me that my problems are tame.

My grandfathers escaped ethnic cleansing in Russia and Poland, making it possible for me to live a comfortable, safe life.

So, I give back.