Why I Give Back: Marti

Why I Give Back

By Marti Yates, JFS Delaware volunteer

The plight of refugees became real to me back in 2001. My friend’s brother-in-law perished in the World Trade Center on September 11 of that year. In his memory she created The Welcome to America Project, an effort to aid the refugee resettlement agencies in Phoenix by furnishing the new homes of refugees with household goods collected by the community. I joined her in this effort at a time when the number of people coming to this country from refugee camps seemed massive.

Through WTAP I was fortunate to meet people from all over the world – Afghans, Cubans, Congolese, Burmese, Burundians, Iranians, and Sudanese. My world was enriched and enlightened by hearing their stories about their homelands, my admiration for them increased by knowing how they endured in camps waiting to receive their papers to come to this country, and my affection for them magnified by their profuse gratitude for the meager help we could provide for them. In particular, I was enthralled by the stories the Afghan families told of the tribulations and changes their country underwent from the open freedom and growth of the 70’s to the conflict, deprivations, and trials of the present time. The constant refrain of everyone was gratitude to be able to provide a good education for their children and a life without violence. It was always about providing a better future for their children. Some of those Afghan friends I made 23 years ago remain friends to this day.

When I heard about the need from JFS Delaware for volunteer support with Afghan refugee resettlement in Wilmington, I saw it as another opportunity to help a nationality that I admire. This time, though, it wasn’t just a matter of furnishing their apartment but rather helping them establish their new lives and, to be honest, it has been a challenge. The family I helped was a very young father, a younger wife, and two (soon-to-be three) little children. They needed to learn everything about this country to get ahead: from getting a job, to paying bills, to signing up for phone service and household utilities, to getting drivers’ licenses, enrolling a child in school, applying for asylum, learning to shop in a grocery store, finding medical and dental care- the list goes on and on. In the three years since they arrived, they have shown kindness, initiative, patience, determination, resilience, persistence, warmth, graciousness, gentleness, and hospitality as they work to establish themselves in America.

For my part, I have been privileged to see their development and growth as they work to become Americans while still preserving and sharing the best of their culture. I feel so grateful to be invited to share a meal with them, especially knowing how carefully they must manage their groceries. It’s such a wonderful treat to laugh with them, join in birthday celebrations, witness the children learn,  and go to parent-teacher conferences. It was important to me that they knew, as soon as they arrived, that there was someone who cared about them, that they weren’t anonymous, as they faced the enormous task of assimilation. When their children become adults, I hope they will remember that they weren’t alone when they first arrived on US soil and, hopefully, they will pay the favor forward.

For me, though, I have received so much more than I have given. I already have six children and 12 grandchildren, but now my family has grown to include my Afghan children and grandchildren.

How lucky am I?

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